Monday, July 24, 2006

Relationships are Tough!

So the guy is great, don't get me wrong, I can't keep my hands off of him. He is smart, ambitious, determined and he has interests and hobbies. All of these things are wonderful, problem is, he does not have a lot of time for me. I feel like I am beg, borrowing and stealing time from him. I think this will be an ongoing pattern with him. He doesn't need me. I know there are things that I bring to his life that are not already there, but can he live without those things? I don't know, only time will tell and we will see I guess.

He doesn't really "get it" at this point though and I don't know his dating history, so that makes it harder, but I don't think that he has been in a serious relationship in quite some time. When we are together things are great, but sometimes he says things and I just want to scream. Last night he was due to call me at 5 to let me know if we were on for dinner (I was making and bringing 0ver) and a movie, Syriana. He called and he said that tonight was not going to happen. Friday we had emails going back and forth about how important it was that he make a little time for me on the weekends so this about blew my stack. I said good-bye and hung up. I waited about an hour and called him back. We spoke about why he said what he did and what he really meant which was if I had a better option maybe I should go with that. I told him how easy I make things for him, I do all the work, all he has to do is show-up. He understood, asked if I would still come over and I did. It was good, but sometimes I really do just want to shake him.

We had our annual family picnic for my dad's side this past Saturday, my cousin Janet is pregnant, again, and does not seem to thrilled with the prospect. That makes me sad. My cousin Amy is pregnant, they are due about the same time. It was good to see people and catch up with people I have not seen or met in a long time. I got a kickball game going which was a lot of fun.

I joined a book club and a cooking club. I am meeting with the cooking club on Friday. I hope that maybe this is a way to make some friends. I have just been pretty lonely lately. The boy does not help tremendously but at least I know he tries.

I am beat, need a nap and some down time!

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