MN Nice?

The week before I left for our trip out East, I spent a lot of time in the office. That Friday, was a long day, and all I wanted to do was get home, it was also very very very cold, but I park in a heated garage, but you can't wash your car when it is that cold here, hence the disgusting car. I came out to my car, couldn't wait to get home and found this

Note how much space the Camry has to its left? Note how little room I have to my left? I could not even get into my car via the drivers side. I was afraid to even back it out knowing that if I would have hit that car, it would have been my fault. I called property management and had them come and move my car, but seriously, what is wrong with people. How did they NOT notice how close they parked next to me? And it is not like they didn't have room on the other side of them.

Wow. Some people.

Put a Ring On It?

I think this time of year can be unnecessarily hard on some couples. I wish that there was someone out there that could explain to me why women put this pressure on their partners to put a ring on their fingers. Over the past couple of days I have heard three different women talking about how they better be getting rings for Christmas or else. Or else what? Maybe I am not the norm, but why is it that women cannot wait for the men in their lives to be ready and surprise them with something special like that. Why do women feel it is necessary to give men an ultimatum. If he's not ready do you really think that you will be able to build a solid foundation? If you have a good solid open line of communication, don't you think that everything will fall into place?

Not for nothing, but I am glad I am a girl, I would hate to have the pressure of choosing the "right" ring, for proposing the "right" way and in the "right" amount of time. I think that if you set expectations going into the relationship, build on that communication and foundation as you build that relationship that you will eventually both get to the same point that you want to be at. I guess I think that if you rush someone into something, they may resent you at some point. Why would you push someone into something that they may not want and may not be ready for?

I am sure I have a different view on this. I have never been one of those girls where my goal in life was to be married. If it happened it happened. And it did, but it was something that we discussed mutually and decided that it was the right thing for both of us. And then it fell apart. Which I guess has made me question how well did I really know that person. Or was it more, was I not being true to myself? Not really sure there, but I do know that ever since then I have examined relationships more carefully.

For me, I know that I do not need to be married to someone to be happy. That I need to be happy with myself first before I can make someone else happy. When I am not happy, it is hard to make someone else happy, and isn't that we all strive for is happiness, contentment, being fulfilled.

I hear girls saying things like, he better be looking at rings, or if I am not engaged by Christmas, well then he can just hit the road and I just cringe. Why would you want someone you love and care about to just hit the road. Isn't this something that you can talk openly about. Maybe he is feeling some kind of financial pressure, maybe he is on another time line and you need to make a compromise, maybe he is having second thoughts about the relationship.

I am just venting here today. Recently, my mentee through JLM broke up with a boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. She is in her late 20's and they had spoken about moving in together and taking that next step. During the last couple of months she felt him pulling away. They talked about it, and ultimately he felt that he was not ready to take that next step, so they went their own ways, which was the best thing for her as she had other goals in mind. As it turned out he wound up going on to have an affair with a married woman in their office (poor thing still has to work with the guy). Obviously this was someone that did not even share the same morals or ethics as she did, so it was definitely best in the long run, but what if she would have pushed him into something he was not comfortable with. Would they ever have been happy?

I am really curious how men feel about this. The boy and I talk about this quite a bit as we have seen it happen in a couple of relationships. His brothers for one, she kept saying they needed to get married for the boys (she has two OLDER boys from a previous marriage), not sure why, but whatever. I just think that if you have already been married twice, and neither of them worked out, you better examine yourself pretty closely before you decide to do it again. They do not have a pre-nup which I think is a HUGE mistake, but whatever. The boy also has a cousin who married a very young woman, she was married at 19. My goodness, at 19? I know that things were different years ago, but in this day and age, I was SO not grown up at 19! I had a lot of living and learning left to do! Of course I hope they make it, but I look at her posts on Facebook and just wonder, hmmm. She just had their first baby a week ago, I am sure that will make you grow up fast.

Please, no one has a perfect relationship, I am not an expert on ANY of this. I was just spouting a bit. I am happy that I do have a good solid relationship, but it does take a lot of work, on a daily basis, and I think that talking and communication is first and foremost. You really need to be on the same page going into it, no?

I guess all this Tiger news has really gotten to me and has also gotten me thinking. UGH! I HATE hearing about it non-stop. And it is really hard not to. I feel for them. It is such a private ordeal to go through, but he is a professional athlete, so unfortunately, his life is played out in the public. He obviously did not think too much about that going into these affairs. I also look at the women coming forward and I wonder, really? is this how you want your 15 minutes of fame captured? I feel for his children. Tiger obviously did not think much about how his fathers trysts affected him as a child. He obviously did not think about how much it degraded his mother. Part of me wonders if he does not have enough respect for himself, or his wife. Mutual respect is a big part of a strong relationship.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. There are things I admire so greatly about the boy, I hold him in such high regard, but I also feel it mutually which I think is so important.

Maybe it helps that I love my basics, pearls and such, but I am not a "jewelry" girl. I love my costume jewelry and adding it to outfits as accessories, but I also have always had issues wearing rings. . . so, don't put a ring on it. Maybe when I am 80 for estate planning purposes.

Just to end on a wonderful note. I attended a Christmas wedding years and years and years ago. It was the weekend before Christmas and it was a candlelit service and the bridesmaids wore red velvet and carried white roses, while the bride wore a beautiful white dress with a BEAUTIFUL white cape that was trimmed in fur and carried beautiful red roses. They departed the ceremony via a horse drawn sleigh, it was stunning and SO romantic. So, I am not AGAINST marriage, I just think it is so much more beautiful when you see that mutual love.

Tuesday Ramblings

So when I travel for work I seem to have more time to just think and take things in. I guess I am away from home and at home I am always finding things I could do, should do or things to organize. So when I travel I have to find things that I have with me to keep me busy and to do.

So one thing that got done last night was washing my make-up brushes. How often do you do that? This also got me thinking about the fact that my linen closet is in desperate need of being cleaned out and organized, it has been on the ta-da list for QUITE a while, but obviously it must be a task I am dreading. I know I also need to go threw my make-up and toss and purge.

When I was going through airport security in Minneapolis, putting all of my "liquids" into a plastic bag, I heard this guy exclaim to his girlfriend, "just how many lip thingys do you need? I mean really how many lips do you have?". I sorta hid my plastic bag after he said that, here is my "little" lip collection that travels in my pocketbook. . .

is it too much? What do you carry? I find I am in the mood for different things on different days, but I constantly have "lip stuff" on.

When you travel, do you take it in? Do you think about it like you think about your own place you call home? Do you look at the kids and wonder how much different your life would be if you grew up somewhere else? Do you wonder why things are so much different or the same as home?

I went to the mall here yesterday to get a gift for a friends baby and to grab lunch (can you say Chick-fil-A. . .NUM, I was SO happy!) and there were a ton of kids there because of course they had the day off. I just looked at some of them and wondered if I ever looked like that when I would stroll the mall with my friends. . . .

Food chains. . . .for the most part I am SO not a fan, of any of them. Not when it comes to dinner anyway. And it seems like that is all I can find here. . .SO not a fan. . .

Professionalism. . . .so I am working with a brand new team on this new project. Two of the guys on this team actually were on my last team, but rolled off a couple of months into it to work on something else. My peer (as a consultant at a client site we are paired with client partner to work side by side to ensure the project completes all deliverables) is a great guy, VERY professional, really nice, very put together and very task oriented which I LOVE. My peer on the other project, also a wonderful guy, is VERY laid back and just kind of, it will get done when it gets done kind of a guy, that kind of makes me crazy so I am REALLY excited to work on this new project. He is a great communicator, keeps me the loop on things and there is a good sense of mutual respect.

Florida and older people. There are a lot of them here. Makes me wonder what my latter years will be like and what I will be like, where I will live and who the people around me will be. Last night at dinner I saw table upon table of people over 60 having dinner together, couples, groups of 4, 6 and 8 all chatting away. I do like the weather in Southern Florida during the winter, so I probably would not mind being down here in my latter years during the winter. My parents prefer Arizona, I am not a fan of the desert (sorry Tres, no offense at all!!!!) and I really need the ocean and a beach. I also think that they must have decent hospitals and such with all of the older contingency.

Jersey is in the house. And boy do you know it. At breakfast yesterday morning there was a huge group of them, talking about who was there, who was still coming in, who was going on a cruise, what the weather in Jersey was like and how many more it would drive to Florida. Who walks when, where and how often. It was pretty funny and I really enjoyed listening to all of them. I so miss the East coast. . . .

Randomness for Wednesday!

So lot's going on this week, and I am having lots of random thoughts, so I thought I would just get them all down.

• I love fish, any fish I can eat, however, I don't like a whole fish, eyes included, on my plate. I don't know for some reason I just don't like my food looking at me.
• Why oh why do people not get the whole RSVP thing? I have gotten tough for 2008 and if someone RSVP yes to a wine club event, and then they don't show, I kick them out. I just don't have time for this. Most events are limited to only a certain number of members that can come, once the RSVP's are full, that is it. Well if you RSVP yes, and then you don't come, you have just blocked people from coming that would have. Especially when we have a dinner reservation for 8 and only 6 show, come on people!
• I have a very serious shoe issue. I think about my shoes, I love my shoes, and I cannot wait for warmer weather already to wear my flip flops. Working from home does not exactly afford me the opportunity to wear a lot of my shoes, I do wear a lot of slippers.
  
• Warmer weather. I am headed for it. It looks like once my current project implements, I will be rolling onto another project. Based in Fort Lauderdale, FL. Starting next week already. . .now to dig out my flip flops and capris.
• Toasters. The boys parents got me one for Christmas. I have a convection/toaster oven but for some reason the boy does not get how this works and felt I needed a toaster. I used it for the first time this morning, went into the office to work while it was toasting, could have sworn I heard someone sneeze, wondered who was in my house, figured it must be the toaster. It has been a long time since I have had or used a toaster.
  
• Spring. . .I am so ready for it. I have actually done a little online shopping. . .waiting for my items to arrive as we speak!
• Babies. . .so many of them right now! Sister S just found out she is having a girl, due June 13th, E from Ladybugs Picnic is having a girl, Chloe is having a girl, Tulipmom also, yet another girl, Sara's little peanut would not cooperate so we are not sure there (but I am betting a girl, must be something in the water!), but all of these babies are coming soon! I cannot wait!
• I seriously need to update the design on this blog and get it organized, I SWEAR it is on my to-do list. I think that I have 125 if not more blogs on bloglines, and I love reading them, but I need to categorize them.
  
• These two are turning 7 next Tuesday, where has the time gone? I may have to miss their birthday celebration pending flights to FL Sunday, but I will get to have my own celebration with them when I get back. Seriously where have the last seven years gone?
  

Weird Random Share

So I am in the office today as working at home without central air is not conducive to 95 degree weather. So low and behold, what do I see in the office? A woman in a red wool merino ribbed turtleneck sweater. And me in a Lilly sundress, how random, no? I really hope that she doesn't over-heat. I know that there is air here in the office but come on people, she does have to go outside. . . . .