Thursday, June 05, 2008

SATC the Movie and Weddings. . .

So the boy and I went to dinner and to check out the new SATC movie. I felt as though I was the last female on the planet to see it. My girls out East had seen it last week of course, texting me from cocktails, calling me to tell me they wished I was there, IM'ing me this week to let me know that it just wasn't the same seeing it without me, couldn't I come out and see it with them again. Religiously we would all get together to watch. Curling up on the couch with our pizza and wine, or if we were in the mood, even a dinner we would make together. We would discuss each episode, tearing it apart, comparing one another to the different characters and relating to different situations, being the single girls that we were. Seeing it with the boy was nice, just not the same, especially since he had never seen a single episode.
I was really surprised to see how packed the theater was even on a Wednesday night. Mainly women, but there were a few men as well. I could have waited to see it with some of the girls here, but sister S., being 9 months pregnant, is really only up for about one outing a week at this point and had been to the Twins game the night before. T. is going to see it Sunday, we will still be at the lake, but it would have been fun to see it with her and her girlfriends, and sister J. is swamped with work, have not seen much of her in the past weeks, so the boy and I saw it.
I really enjoyed it, there were laughs, tears and some revelations. I was surprised that the girls let Carrie wear that hideous bird in her hair, anyone else? Especially when afterwards they were all like, ohhhh, is that what that is. . .it was fun to see all of the beautiful dresses and couture and I am happy to see strong, confident women still wearing fur!

I am not going to spoil anymore for anyone who has not seen it yet, but we all have heard about the whole wedding. I just want to vent about a little of this for a moment because I can relate to some of what Big was saying and feeling throughout the movie. For crying out loud, who needs a big wedding the third time around? Isn't it a little ridiculous? The boys brother is getting married the end of this month. It is his first. However, it is her third. They are older, so okay, fine. But seriously, SHE is the one pushing for all of the "stuff", which I just think is BEYOND ridiculous!!!!!! I mean COME ON! SHE booked the "hall" even before she had the RING on her finger, which she also picked out. She cannot WAIT for her Bachelorette party, which is going to be SUCH a party. I am invited. I have politely said that I would join them later at some point, but I have an obligation that I have to attend as well, I don't. I just do not A.) think that is necessary to take an RV all over getting drunk along the way, B.) know for sure where my partying skills rank amongst her party goers since she had to tell me how well each of her guests can drink and party and C.) think it is necessary to make a spectacle of yourself out in public declaring how you are getting married (especially since I am sure her tattoos will be showing, she has her two previous husbands names tattooed and crossed out, I am worried that there may be a parlor stop along the way for a third).

She has stated time and again how this is for her boys, the marriage. I disagree because I don't think at 11 and 14 they are questioning who their daddy is, and since the boys brother doesn't really get any input as to how they are raised (yet they live under "their" roof) then why bother. If she wants to do something for her boys, then maybe spend some time with them and focus on the things going on in their lives, like getting suspended from school for threatening to shoot one of your classmates with a b.b gun. Oh wait, that wasn't his fault. . . yes people, she is one of those parents. Now please keep in mind, that I really don't get to have an opinion about any of this because I don't have any children, and I have never raised any children, so I don't really know anything about how to raise kids. . . .right? Oh wait, I am still a person.

The other boy was reprimanded in school for wearing a tee shirt that was in poor taste. It happened to be the tee shirt that she brought him back from Vegas which had shadows of naked women on it. Please keep in mind he is 11. He was asked to turn it inside out by the principal. He told the principal no and walked away. She praised her son for this behavior. Way to stick up for himself and they really did not see a problem with the shirt. Now during all of this, the boys brother sits there and does not say a word. Co-parenting anyone? The whole thing just floors me. These conversations were followed up a day later by her letting me know that she does not raise her children to automatically just respect adults, they need to earn her kids respect just like anyone else. I was SHOCKED when I heard this, I mean just floored. I stammered and said, well, what about their teachers, I mean surely it is helpful for them to respect them so that they can do well in school. Oh no, they are the worst offenders and just flaunt their positions. Hmmmm, interesting viewpoint. I am curious as to what will happen the first time they encounter the "law". I do not think that she owns a copy of Emily Post, nor do I think she even knows who she is, so Miss Manners she is not.

Needless to say, the whole thing is BEYOND frustrating for me. I have to bite my tongue so much it is not even funny. Between a wedding which is a kind of a joke to me, and having to spend my free time with mouthy tweenage disrespectful boys who are just not all that enjoyable to be around and then not being able to be myself because I really cannot speak up and say what I think, the whole thing is just not fun. It is hard to just not be myself if that makes sense. I also get to spend my weekends talking about the upcoming nuptials, take part in the planning and helping where I can (she was going to have fake flowers that she put together from Michael's for her bouquet and nothing on the reception tables, I HAD to put my foot down there and told her that I would do something, we know at this point how I feel about fresh flowers) as well as the last two weekends in June attending functions and then the wedding.

Don't get me wrong, I think being in a healthy stable relationship is wonderful, but I think it needs to be a two way street and I just do not see that here. I think there are a few people in the boys family that have some concerns, but of course, no one will say anything. I have let the boy know how I feel. And after the whole, "my kids don't need to respect adults" conversation, I did grab him and tell him that he needed to get me out of there and take me for a ride before I lost it, but still. I just do not get people. At all. It is weird how I can be SO happy for some people getting married (my friends J and K from CT are getting married the same weekend) Kimba, Red, and anyone else who should decide to, for the right reasons, but this one, I am just having a hard time supporting someone getting married for the third time using her kids as an excuse.

I told the boy when I first met him that I just did not think that I would ever get married again. I have been married, it didn't work out, kids are not in my future, and while I think that I will be with the boy rocking in our rockers well into our latter years, enjoying the golden years, I just don't see a reason for a piece of paper to tell me how I feel about someone, or for me to know how that person feels about me. I think once is enough. I do think there are some really good reasons for it, but at this point in my life I just don't see enough of them to justify getting married again. This whole circus that is about to ensue in the coming weeks is enough for me. IF someone should decide to get married again, I wish it would at least be tasteful. She gave the boys parents a framed professional (can you say Olan Mills?) portrait of the two of them for Christmas (engagement photo?), I guess that was the foreshadowing of what was to come in February with the wedding announcement. . . . .

Okay, done venting. Sorry. But it did feel good to get it all out. I am sure there are those of you who would agree with getting married as many times as possible, Elizabeth Taylor anyone? And I think that everyone has a right to their opinion, I just think that this is a little insane and when you have to spend your free time (which you may have very little of) discussing this wedding on a regular basis it does get frustrating. The boys parents think that a pre-nup should be signed, I agree wholeheartedly, but I also have been around enough to know that A.) she won't sign it and will throw a fit and B.) if they even bring it up to the boys brother, he will get offended. I did speak to the boy about this, who also thinks it is a good idea, I am hoping that he is able to bring it up and get the point across. But again, things like this is how families get divided and I now that no one wants that.

12 comments:

Suz said...

I really liked the movie too.

As for the family wedding drama, sadly, there's not much you can do. Its so frustrating to see someone you care about get themselves wrapped up in bull$hit but it will only serve to make you look like the bad guy. You sound like you have a good handle on the situation, grin and bear it and plan something awesome for the weekend after the wedding to look forward to!

SnappyCasualGifts said...

I added you to the blog roll as my outside voice. I couldn't read this post just incase b/c I haven't seen the movie yet.

Cindy said...

No, I'm the last one to see it! I can't believe I haven't yet, but then I did watch the entire series after it was out on dvd (we don't have cable), and I think I enjoyed it as much as anyone.

But who needs a movie when you've got drama like that in your real life?! That is just crazy. Sort of like people who expect a huge shower for their zillionth baby (remember Chloe's evil SIL?). That she would claim it's all not for her is hilarious. Good thing you and the boy are on the same side of these. Hope you can keep laughing through it all.

Mississippi Songbird said...

I am adding you to my blogroll and you are my partner in the parasol swap! Yipeeeee!
It sounds like so much fun...

JenWebb702 said...

Look at how festive your blog is! I love it!!

RED said...

WHAT A MESS! And what a tough spot for you to be in! At least you and the boy feel the same, such a shame though to see it all happen and there is nothing really you can do but (like Suz said) grin and bear it - and keep taking the high road you're on.
LOVED the movie, might have to go see it again actually, some stuff was a little over the top but overall I really enjoyed seeing the girls again.
LOVE the redesign! so festive! July 4th is my favorite holiday hands-down! Great fun!

JP said...

the new layout is COOL!

I saw SITC last weekend and loved it!

Britt said...

A. Haven't seen SATC yet but I can't wait, and I do feel like the last woman in the country to get to the theater!

B. I hear ya on family drama and it's so hard not to be able to let people know exactly how you feel and how ridiculous they are! Weddings are one thing (although, I agree with you on pushing for a big 3rd - too much!) but it seems hard to supportive of a relationship that doesn't work both ways and I've been in your shoes!

Glad you're back and love the new blog looke!

Tres Poshe Preppy said...

Hi Jilly!

NO,NO,NO I was the last one to see it!!! I agree about the bird, WTF... I was saying it out loud! ;)

People are funny. I have a friend who thinks the next wedding should be grander than the first, crazy! The next time I get married (God willing), it will be low key, family and simple. Nantucket style. Again, I have it all planned out and don't even have a man! :)

BTW-LOVE the new look!

Meg said...

I, too, love your new format. Your picture with the boy at the top is terrific!

Glad you were able to enjoy SATC. He is a brave man to join you, having never seen an episode. I felt after seeing it that if you didn't already love the show, you would be puzzled as to why the characters seemed so one-dimensional. Miranda in particular...she came off in the movie as such a crabby b*tch, but the series showed a lot more complexity to her.

Sorry to hear the family news...especially for those 2 young boys who are getting into such a delicate time in their growing up years.

Caffeine Court said...

I still haven't seen it. I can't WAIT!

Maybe I'll go alone Friday when my girls are at school.

The Mrs. said...

The bird on the head was HIDDEOUS!!!!!

 
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