Thursday, July 30, 2009

Happy Birthday to my Sister!

Last night the boy and I went over to my sisters to have some cake and ice cream and celebrate her birthday, which is today, with the rest of my family. It was good to see the kids, and we had the BEST ice cream cupcakes from Cold Stone, SO good! She loved her gift and I had fun putting it together.
It is weird because unlike a lot of other people I know, my sister and I are not terribly close, nor do we have ANYTHING in common, besides our mom and dad. Sometimes I am baffled that we were even raised in the same household. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't because I lived on the East coast for 18 years and she stayed here in MN the whole time. But the reality of it is, we were never very much alike. Ever. She has always been a total tom-boy running around with all of the boys in the neighborhood playing football, wondering why my mom would make her put her shirt back on if all the other boys had theirs off, while I was off playing with my Ginny dolls with the girls in the backyard in my playhouse. As we got older, while I never had a problem trying new things when it came to my food palate, she stuck to her hot dogs and cheeseburgers. I prefer skirts and dresses and like to match and have a room that is immaculate, she preferred overalls, tie-dye and birkenstocks and walking through her room was like coming through a mine field. She married her college sweetheart right out of college, settled down and had children while I focused on my career, reluctantly got married due to my living situation and not wanting to disappoint my parents, and then divorced, while still focusing on my career.
We have had our ups and downs throughout the years, we really don't see eye to eye on much. Religion, she has gone in a different direction, which is fine, but she is not raising her kids with religion, again, fine, her choice, but I am surprised my parents don't pipe up more on that one. Politics, do not get me started, we just don't discuss and I TRY to also let her children know that there is more than one choice. Food. UGH. She is now what my brother calls a born again vegetarian. Fine. I have no problems with people who make these choices, for the right reasons. She just hates to cook, she hates to touch raw meat and she just doesn't enjoy any part of it, so, I think she basically just quit. What drives me more nuts is what she feeds her children. Don't get me started. Last night they had mircowaved french toast sticks and grapes. But my oldest nephew J made it. If there is any meat that is part of a meal my brother in law does it, I just hate to see that the kids are not getting well balanced meals. Careers. I just don't understand going to school for 4 years to get a MRS degree, but a lot of people do it, I know, and she has put hers to use here and there. She does work part-time for the school district her kids attend, so she gets all school holidays and the summers off, but she constantly complains about money, but as far as I can see, she is the only one that can change that. Socializing. She just doesn't do it. Well, she does and doesn't. She does belong to a M.O.M's (Mothers of Multiples) group and she does have friends from there, but the only baby-sitter other than family that she has had in 10 years, I arranged and paid for this past January. When my parents left for parts South this past winter, she took a leave of absence from her job so that she would be there to put the kids on the bus and when they got off. I invite her to do a ton of things with the boy and I and her excuse is constantly we can't afford or don't have a baby-sitter. Growing up my sister and I had baby-sitters at least once a week, so again, I have no idea where she gets this mentality from.

So, we have had our rifts over the years, and she was one of the main reasons I moved back to Minnie, but, I don't really think that she has ever realized the sacrifice or appreciated it. I really wanted to be a part of my niece and nephews lives, I am their only Aunt (they do have one other aunt and uncle and two girl cousins on my brother in laws side) so I really wanted to be part of their lives. I didn't want to be that aunt who just passes through town, and knowing that kids were never going to be a part of my own personal life, it meant a lot to me to be more involved with them. She doesn't really keep me in the loop on stuff, just assumes that I am busy, so I will get upset with her about things like that (I say, just let me know, if I can make it I will, if I can't I can't, but at least give me the option so that I know that there is something going on), she gets upset with me because she thinks that I just don't have enough time for them, so it is a miscommunication basically most of the time, but oh well.

I guess I always look at the sister relationships of other friends of mine, and I always wish for that bond that I just don't think will ever be there. I know that part of it is due in fact that I don't have children and she does, so in some ways, we just look at things differently. I also think it is just one of those situations where you don't get to choose your family, but you do your friends.

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