Monday, December 17, 2007

Need your thoughts

Okay I am stuck on this one, and the boy is stuck between a rock and a hard place. And I also know that I am being a little selfish and self-centered, but I don't know what to do.

The day after Thanksgiving, I put the finishing touches on family photo calendars for the boys family and my own. I had 8 calendars made and they turned out pretty good I think. I LOVE to take pictures and keep them organized. I made a Saints photo book for Tango and Cash's daddy, my first one but I had fun doing it and it will definitely be better the next time, but regardless, I like to take pictures, I wish I was better at it and I wish that I had a better camera, but I love to do it. The boys dad takes pictures too and has a digital camera, but he still doesn't really have the hang of it or how to upload pictures and how to have them printed. He winds up taking pictures, bringing them somewhere, having them all printed and then deleting them. He is still on dial-up at home, so I don't have the patience to go into detail on the particulars of the different sites such as Kodak, Snapfish, Flikr and such.

I was really excited about giving everyone the calendars for Christmas and the boy and I had a lot of fun putting them together. At Thanksgiving I had a whole slew of pictures that I had printed to scrap with and everyone had a good time going through them and looking at them. Especially...the boys...father. I guess he got the idea at this point that he would get copies of my pictures and have 8 x 10's made for everyone of my pictures and give them to them for Christmas. So for two weeks he has been bugging me about getting copies of my pictures, but he didn't tell the boy until last night what he was going to do with them. Now, he is basically going to give everyone the same thing that we are, only these are unreturnable gifts. Granted they are not exactly alike, but he wants to take a picture that I took of the boy, his siblings and parents up at the lake over the fourth, have it made into an 8 x 10 and give one to each of the kids. That is the same picture that is on the front of everyones calendars, so when opening the gifts, it is the same thing.

What do I do? I am SO frustrated. The boy told his mother what was going on, but I am sure he did not explain it well. He doesn't like to upset anyone and you know how it is, sometimes you just cannot please everyone. So now what do I do? How do I feel? No matter what I feel like the spark is gone. This bites. Any thoughts?

Forget it, the boy just emailed me and his dad took one of his pictures that is exactly like mine only darker and had it lightened and had them made into 8 x 10's for everyone. The same picture that is on the cover of all of the calendars. Oh well. It is what it is, but there goes the gift that we were giving to everyone.


Anonymous said...

Wow - how insensitive of the guy. It's clear you went to a lot of effort to make those calenders and now he wants the exact same pic to use as his own gift? I tell him to f**K off. OK, not the best advice, but that's all I have!!

Does he actually have a copy of the picture? If not, I'd flat out say he can't have that particular picture, but you'll make copies of the others.

Sorry can't be of any more help.

J said...

That does really stink. I'm with Chloe, if he doesn't actually have the pictures yet, simply explain that you already have gifts for everyone using the photos but you'd be happy to share some other photos with him.

However, if he already has them and is totally set on giving them, I'm not sure what you should do! I suppose in the spirit of Christmas you should let it slide even though that is hard to do. I'm sure the calendars will get used --in my house we have calendars in three rooms, plus everyone has one at work.

~*Marie*~ said...

I feel the same way. My DH's mom had a party in September, I took pictures at the party (I love love love taking pictures and I have a new super great SLR digital camera) and then DH and I put them into a digital frame for his mom's present. I just got copies of my SIL Christmas card and she used one of my pictures to make her card. She didn't even ask me if I minded and I felt that my work was being stolen. I know it is family and all but it was MY picture and I feel strongly about my work being used without so much as a simple request. I am not so sure I would feel any different about someone using one of my pictures as a my advise is to tell him that you have made presents with that picture and for next year you would be more than happy to stage a photo shoot for him to use them for maybe Easter if he doesn't want to wait a whole year....other than that I wouldn't give up something that you spent so much time and effort in!

Muffy Willowbrook said...

UGH!! I feel for you! That is such a labor of love that you did - only to see it all flushed down the toilet!

I would put on a smile and give the calendars to them anyway. Tell the dad you had this idea and this had been planned since Thanksgiving. If nothing else, he should feel like a big shrew. Not that that is your goal. But maybe he'll at least apologize and you can still both give your gifts.

That is totally crappy advice - but it's Christmas, and if it wasn't Your boy's father - I'd tell you to duct tape his butt cheeks together!

Me said...

Hey, not to be Pollyanna in an obviously sensitive situation, but it seems to me like when they open the gifts, the recipients are going to KNOW who put more love and effort into them-you! It seems like the effect will reflect poorly on him rather than you. Even though you are (understandably) upset about it, I think these things often tend to get themselves figured out.

I hope things work out!